Hi there – long time no see. 2020 was a year, and I’d taken a step back to focus on some other things. After that step back, I couldn’t figure out how to jump two steps forward to get back. But I managed to pull it together, and now I’m back. At least until life sweeps me away again. I didn’t realize it, but I’ve missed this. I’ve missed looking through the photos and choosing the best to share. I’ve missed formatting my site for hours on end. Today, I was so focused on this website, I didn’t even notice when my husband almost axed off his finger.
A lot has changed in the past year. I got married, we made a new garden, we got some lambs, bees, and a new cat. All 200 of our tomatoes (and most of our apple buds) died in a June frost. We postponed our wedding celebration. I started teaching again.
I’ve been focusing on home making, homesteading, and farm planning. Contemplating what it means to share parts of myself on the internet, considering what value I can bring into this space. Most of all, I’ve been learning to take care of this old property we’re now stewards of. Respecting its history while making it our own. Growing into the role of farm steward, homemaker, and wife. Through all of this, I couldn’t share with you. I didn’t know my place.
I felt as if I had so many roles. Daughter. Farmer. Creative. Gardener. Teacher. Academic. Wife. Homemaker. I’m not sure what that made me as a whole. When I look at my wardrobe I have to ask myself “who am I going to be today.” I cannot wear the same outfit that I do to do morning chores to my classroom. This created a divide in my mind. Am I not the same person in one role than I am in the other? I was lost for a long time. Not sure how to reconcile all these pieces of me.
I have a better sense of where I am now, and the path that I want to travel. When I stare at the pile of dishes to be done, I feel purpose instead of anxiety. Rethinking and rehashing all of our goals. What do we really want to accomplish? What do we need to do to achieve that?
We want to grow food and eat it. We want to grow food and preserve it. We want to grow food and share it.
I am focused on those goals in 2021. Having beautiful gardens, a welcoming home, and a cultivating a big family.
More to come soon.